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Tips For Bubba Rope Use & Maintanance
Please Read (Don’t worry we have pictures too!)
Make sure yer vehicle is actually stuck in mud, sand, snow or some kind of other gooey stuff and not that ya just forgot to take off the parking brake. Ol’ Uncle Jake was always making that kind of Bubba operator error.
Once y’all have established that yer vehicle is actually stuck, here’s yer chance to gain some big Bubba points. After all, rescuing a fellow Bubba or Bubbette from the depth of an ol’ muddy mud hole is a true act of Bubba git-r-done kindness.
Pull yer Bubba Rope® out of its bag and announce loudly, “No problem y’all! I got me right here a
gen-u-wine Bubba Rope® made in the good ol’ USA!” No doubt this phrase will make ya an instant expert and will impress everyone in ear shot.
Bubba Tip: Attach yer Bubba Rope® to the stuck vehicle first. Note: If y’all attach yer Bubba Rope® to the towing vehicle first then how-in-the-heck are ya gonna move the stuck vehicle in order to attach the other end of the Bubba Rope®! We know, cuz we all done that before.
Find a suitable place to attach yer Bubba Rope®. It should be a strong part of the vehicle. To find the best place, take a look see in yer vehicle’s owners manual. For example: In the front of the vehicle y’all may find manufactured pulling points which look like eye hooks. In the back of the vehicle look for the same thing or y’all can use an attached trailer hitch but only if y’all are using a Bubba Rope® shackle (shack - cúll).
WARNING: DO NOT ATTACH YER BUBBA ROPE® TO YER BUMPER even if it seems like a really good idea cuz y’all are likely to rip yer friggin’ bumper right off yer vehicle. Done that too!
WARNING: DO NOT ATTACH YER BUBBA ROPE® TO A TRAILER HITCH BALL NEITHER unless y’all want to end up “sling-shotting” a miniature cannon ball through somebody’s back window.
Once y’all have yer Bubba Rope® securely attached to yer vehicles climb back in, start yer engines and gun ’em loudly. This actually does nothin’ to pull out yer stuck vehicle but it’ll add to the whole dramatic effect needed for a successful Bubba Rope® rescue.
Now, pull yer stuck vehicle out in a jerking type motion by hitting the gas pedal and yanking the stuck vehicle loose. Keep pulling ’til both vehicles are free and clear of any mud, sand or snow.
CAUTION: DO NOT LET THE OWNER OF THE STUCK VEHICLE DRIVE YER VEHICLE… well, first because they were the dufuses that got their vehicle stuck in the first place and so their driving skills should be in real question at this point. And second, no doubt they have mud all over their boots and will get yer vehicle all boogered up with mud!
If yer stuck vehicle doesn’t come out of the mud on the first pull, then heck, just give up and go home. Just messin’ with ya! Because, just like life if at first ya don’t succeed, y’all may have to try again a little harder. Once yer out, celebrate yer success by high five’ng, chest bump’ng, exchange of large sums of money, or any way y’all wanna express yer gratitude to be on the road again.
Yer Bubba Rope® is made from good ol’ fashioned American man-made synthetic fibers so y’all can hose all that muck and mud off with no problem.
Remember: Y’all should keep yer Bubba Rope® close by and handy in yer vehicle at all times. Heck, ya never know when yer gonna get stuck up to yer ears in mud, sand or snow again.